Please! No Need to Apologize!

The expression of feelings comes easily for some people and almost impossible for others. But one involuntary symptom of feeling is crying. Sometimes we can control it, but as we all have experienced, at other times the tears just come without warning!

Most of the feelings have an outward expression: anger might be shown with raised voice, big gestures, etc., while frustration might be displayed by throwing up the hands or stomping away. Can we control these displays of feeling? Sometimes. How do we feel if we don't? Most of us would eventually apologize for bad behavior and of course we should! But what do we do when we cry? In therapy, where it is perfectly "acceptable " to express feelings, I find that most clients will apologize when they begin to cry. "Here is the most difficult thing I have ever experienced, but I'm sorry for expressing how painful it was by actually crying while sharing it with you!" Can you imagine if, when we got angry we first said, "I'm sorry, but I'm about to raise my voice?"

Sounds silly doesn't it? But most of us have said it when we cry!

Please know this: You do not need to apologize for HAVING feelings. You do not need to apologize for EXPRESSING your feelings. And you do not need to apologize for how a particular situation makes you feel.

So don't discriminate! Begin to normalize the expression of ALL feelings! Crying covers many-sadness, fear and rejection for example, so the next time you feel overwhelmed beyond belief, let the tears flow! No apology needed!